


Durin's Wolf

by Bubbles759



Series: The Lion and Wolf of Durin's Line [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Bear Dwalin, Bear Thorin, F/M, Hurt Fíli, Hurt/Comfort, Lion Fíli, M/M, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:17:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbles759/pseuds/Bubbles759
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All dwarves have an animal. All dwarves can shape shift. Everyone knows this. </p>
<p>All Dwarves except one.</p>
<p>Kili has had enough of the teasing and bullying and sets out to prove himself as the best hunter, with or without an animal. His rashness will have consequences though, ones he never saw coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a prompt on Tumblr months ago about the Line of Durin being shapeshifters, with the exception of Kili. I'm not sure who wrote the prompt, I'm not even sure when I saw it, and I can't find it now, so if it was you, thank you. This is what my brain did with it.

All dwarves can shift. Everyone knows that.

In fact, all in Middle Earth, with the exception of men, can shift.  No one had ever worked out a reason for why people shifted into the animals they did. It did not seem to follow family lines, or races. Nor did it follow time lines or generations. It seemed more and more likely, the animal followed the personality.

The Line of Durin was no different. Durin the First was recorded as having a raven as his animal; the reason the ravens were a symbol of his line.

Thorin Oakenshield, exiled King Under the Mountain shifted in a large black bear; all power and rage.

Frerin was a Lynx; lithe, light and almost as golden as his hair.

Dis shifted to an eagle; large, majestic and intelligent, but incredibly protective.

Her husband Vili, shifted into a cougar; quiet, powerful, deadly and smart.

Thorin would never forget his first encounter with Thranduil in his animal form. He had laughed so hard he had almost fallen from a walkway, high in the mountain of Erebor. Thranduil, Elven King, not only rode an elk, he _shifted_ into one too. Thorin, Frerin, Dis and Dwalin all still got a laugh out of the thought of the Elf King riding the same animal he shifted into.

Fili, heir to the throne, and eldest son of Dis and Vili, shifted into a majestic lion. Although, when he was young, majestic was not the word used. Cute, adorable... clumsy... were more appropriate words. Vili took his time teaching his son to use his 4 legs, and Frerin taught him how to get into trouble.

And he shifted every chance he had. At first it was completely unconsciously. He would go to bed a golden haired dwarfling, and wake as a golden lion cub. When he was scared, he shifted. When he was excited, he shifted. Sometimes he shifted just because he could.

It became a common sight, to see Thorin, or Dwalin, or Vili, or Frerin chasing after a golden lion cub. Most times he forced his elders to shift, just to keep up with him. Although it was usually Vili and Frerin who would shift and give chase. It just wasn’t practical to have the King and his Shield Brother and Captain of the Guard, in their bear forms, lumbering after a lion cub who could get to places they just couldn’t fit. Or weren’t fast enough to keep up with. It was also common for someone to come across the cub, curled up in a ball, and hiding somewhere; usually if he had done something wrong or he thought he would be in trouble. Sometimes even if he was just scared about something. The entire settlement knew how to coax Fili out from his hiding places by the time he was 5.

But, as he grew older, and his control got better, he learned to shift at will, and the mornings he woke as a lion were few and far between. Periods of heightened emotion, like fear, and anxiety, would cause him to shift unexpectedly.

Fili had his shifting under control. Excepting one thing. His younger brother, Kili. Kili could convince his brother to shift almost any time he wanted. And Fili would do it, just to see Kili smile and laugh, and his eyes light up.

As they grew, still in their teens and twenties, it was a common sight for Kili to be riding on his brother’s back, as the lion cub raced through the halls, and across the settlement.

********

Everyone shifted. Except the youngest of the Durin Line. Kili, second and youngest son of Dis and Vili did not shift. Not once in his life had he shifted.

The eldest always shifted first, a feeling of needing to protect, whether themselves or others, making their change happen earlier than those born after them. The younger ones, feeling safe and protected by their older siblings, and family groups, usually shifted later.

It was only on rare occasions, that the younger siblings shifted early. Dwalin was a notable exception.

It was not unusual at first. The first born always shifted early, in Fili’s case the night he was born, and the further down the line someone was born, the later they first shifted. Frerin was 10 when he first shifted, Dis’ birth prompting protective instincts, triggering his first shift.

Thorin still remembered the shocked look Frerin wore on his Lynx face when he suddenly shifted into his other form for the first time.

For Dis, it wasn’t until after the fall of Erebor, when they were homeless and wandering the wilds that she first shifted. Her fear, and need of a feeling of safety and strength forcing her first change.

But Kili... By his 30th birthday he still hadn’t shifted. And Thorin knew, for some reason, Kili never would. It was unheard of. And a secret to be taken to the grave. No-one could know that a dwarf was incapable of shifting, much less one of Durin’s Line.

And so everyone close to the family kept the secret close to their chests. Kili dreamed of running through the woods where he hunted on 4 feet, nose twitching with the smell of the forest, eyesight sharp, and feet silent. In his dreams he was a wolf, and so, that became the cover story. Kili shifted into a wolf, but had stage fright, and so, no one in the settlement had seen him change.

And it was a story bought for many years.

Until a hunting trip gone wrong.

********

Kili felt useless. He sat at the base of his favourite tree, stripping the leaves and bark off sticks he’d found on the ground. He’d run after another altercation in the market. The other boys had teased him for years, telling him that his animal form must be truly pathetic for the normally self assured prince to have such severe stage fright that none had seen him change bar his closest family. They had taunted him that maybe his animal was a ‘cute little bunny rabbit’, or ‘maybe a harmless little squirrel’.

But today, they had hit a nerve, saying that maybe the reason no one had seen him change, was because he _couldn’t_ change. That maybe he was an abomination and he had no animal form, just like the race of men.

Kili had been so enraged, and embarrassed, and hurt by the words that he had tried to force the change. Which resulted in further embarrassment when nothing happened. In his humiliation, with tears in his eyes, Kili had fled, finding refuge at the base of the tree.

That was where Fili found him, a few hours later. His brother’s lion form slowly approached him, a pack on his back. Kili looked up at the soft noise of Fili’s paws on the dirt, but quickly dropped his head before he could notice the tears. He should have known better than to think Fili hadn’t noticed his mood.

The great cat dropped down next to him, and Kili automatically curled into his side, absorbing his warmth. He hid his face in Fili’s mane, his tears soaking the darker fur as he cried. Fili let out a concerned whimper before he curled protectively around his younger brother and started to let out a low, rolling purr.

When Kili finally pulled away, Fili’s head followed him, gently licking away his tears with a rough tongue, his purring never ceasing. With a deep, heartfelt sigh, Kili pulled the pack from his brother’s back, unpacking some apples, cold cuts of meat, and a few water skins.

“What’s wrong with me Fee?” Kili asked after emptying a water skin.

“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Fili had adamantly repeated the same thing in many different ways since Kili realised he was the only one who couldn’t shift.

“Then why don’t I have an animal?”

Fili sat next to his brother with a sigh, pulling his tunic on over his head. “You do. We _all_ have an animal. And do you know how I know?” Kili shook his head. “Your dreams. You dream of your wolf like I dream of my lion. I’m sure you’ve an animal, and I’m positive it’s a wolf.”

“Then why can’t I change?” Kili viciously bit into a red apple.

Fili sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” He winced when his fingers got caught in a tangle and let out a small, resigned sigh when Kili moved to sit beside him, pulled a comb from the pack, and started to comb out his hair. “Maybe you’re not ready. Maybe you feel safe and your wolf doesn’t feel the need to change. But you can’t force it. It’ll only hurt you.” Kili remembered Fili trying to force the change once, when he was younger. Kili would never forget the screams and whimpers that came from Fili when he only partially changed. His hand and feet changed, his tail grew, his jaw and nose changed, and his shoulders, but the rest stayed dwarven. He was in so much agony that Oin had to force a tonic down his throat to make him relax and sleep. Kili, Thorin, Dis and Vili had all sat vigil through the night, waiting for something to happen. Kili wasn’t sure when, but sometime during the night he fell asleep, and when he woke, he was nestled in golden fur, his head buried in a short, young mane. Fili had completed the change during the night, and he never tried to force the change again.

Fili shifted, letting his brother redo his braids. “I know you’re frustrated Kee, and angry, I would be too. But try not to let those morons bring you down to their level ok?” He took Kili’s face in his hands. “They pick on you because you’re so much better than them at everything.”

“I know.”

Fili kissed him lightly. “Good. Now, we need to go home. Thorin wants to take us on a hunting trip.”

Kili’s face lit up like the sun was rising as he smiled. “How long for? Where are we going? Who’s going with us? Is Adad coming? Or Uncle Frerin? Can I take my bow? What are we hunting for?”

“Whoa Kili slow down. I don’t know anything. He only told me as I was running out the door to come and find you. I think it was supposed to be a surprise, but when Ori came to the forge and told us what had happened... I think he thought knowing early might cheer you up.” Fili grabbed the pack and started repacking things into it.

“Can you change? And can I ride on your back home?” Kili prided himself on not pleading for it.

“You just redid my braids Kili.”

“I know but,” Kili dug into the ground with the tip of his boot, “it’s the only way I can experience how it feels to really run.”

Fili was already pulling off his tunic, hands going to unlace his breeches. “Pack everything up,” he told Kili as he started to shift, falling onto 4 paws. He lay down, watching as Kili raced around, packing everything up, then slung the pack over his own shoulders. He carefully climbed onto his brothers back, taking care not to accidently boot him in the ribs (done only once), and cautiously grabbed two handfuls of Fili’s mane. Then they were off, Fili sprinting through the forest, towards home.

And if they took the long way home? Well, no one needed to know.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a hunting trip. What could possible go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the lovely comments on the first chapter. It always makes me smile to read them. Here's the next chapter. Did I mention this fic was not at all fluffy? Some talk of injuries and healing, but nothing too bad I don't think. Nothing graphic at any rate. As always comments are loved.

Kili couldn’t sleep. He laid in his bedroll and watched as his companions all turned in, and dropped off to sleep. Dwalin was on watch, his back to the fire, sharp eyes watching for anything in the shadows. Kili could hear Thorin shifting in his sleep, and felt Fili roll, disentangling himself from Kili’s octopus limbs. Kili had always been drawn to his brother’s warmth, even in his sleep.

He rolled himself to face away from his brother, his failure today burning hot and bright in his gut. Bored with his thoughts rolling around and around his head, the brunette archer carefully and silently slipped from his bedroll, grabbing his bow and quiver, and the dagger his One had lovingly crafted for him as a courting gift. He was silent on his feet, not even Dwalin heard him leave. He picked his way through the trees, eyes focused on the darkness away from the fire, his ears pricked for any sound. He came to the river they had bathed at earlier in the day and sank down against a large tree, dropping his head back to _thunk_ against the solid trunk, his bow set gently on the ground next to him. He banged his head against the tree a few more times. Even up and away from his family, the day’s events kept dancing through his mind’s eye.

_They could see a small group of deer, not more than 20 feet ahead of them. Glancing at Thorin, who gave him a nod of his head, Kili knocked his arrow, sighting along it to his target. They would eat well tonight. They all paused, settling down behind Kili as he took a breath, and loosened his stance a little. Just as he let the arrow fly, Dwalin stepped on a twig, alerting the deer to their presence and the arrow sailed through the air and wedged itself harmlessly into the tree his quarry had been standing in front of. He glared at Dwalin, but found him and Thorin both glaring at him._

_“What?” he hissed._

_“I thought you were a better shot lad,” Dwalin said gruffly, none of his usual warmth in his tone._

_“You were the one who startled them.” He threw his bow over his back, glaring at Dwalin in the same way his Uncle glared at almost everyone. “You and your clumsy, massive feet!”_

_“ME? I wasn’t the one to take a shot at them!” Dwalin rose from his crouched position, taking a step toward Kili. He only took one before Fili was between them, swords drawn._

_“Don’t Dwalin. He didn’t miss. You stepped on the twig, they heard it snap, and they bolted. End of story.”_

_“Enough.” Thorin’s voice was low, and carried just the smallest hint of danger that they would not like the consequences if they continued their argument. “Kili, we were planning on having some fresh meat tonight. Think you can provide us with that?”_

_Kili stared incredulously at his Uncle. Kili was the one who kept most of the settlement in meat, and furs, especially during the harsh winters. He was the best archer, and probably the best tracker in the Blue Mountains and here was Thorin, doubting him? He huffed at his uncle before he slunk off through the underbrush, his footsteps so silent he could hear the unamused snort coming from Fili._

_“Great work Uncle. Would you like to insult him more? Maybe another few times and he’ll stop hunting and you and Big Foot over here can hunt for winter meat yourselves.”_

_Kili didn’t hear the retort that surely would have come from Thorin as Fili bounded up next to him and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Come on Kee. Let’s get some dinner.”_

_It took over an hour for Fili and Kili to hunt down some dinner and in the end Fili’s lion form had to take down one of the deer after Kili’s shot went wide and startled the herd again. They made it back to the camp Thorin and Dwalin had set up with 2 of the smaller deer. Kili wasn’t happy, he’d wanted one of the bucks, but at least Thorin and Dwalin had stopped outright complaining. Although the little jabs about his hunting prowess continued to be peppered through conversations all night, and by the time Kili turned in he was seething._

He was bought out of his memories by the low, guttural sound of Orc speech. The night was still and calm, and the almost full moon overhead shone enough light for Kili to comfortably see. He picked up his bow and knocked an arrow as he smoothly gained his feet, stalking through the forest in search of the orcs.

 _‘Maybe this will prove to them that I’m a hunter, even without an animal form,_ ’ he thought to himself as he came upon the camp nestled under the trees, not far from where the dwarves were camped. His eyes widened when he caught sight of the 4 wargs pacing near the fire. He took a deep breath, bought his bow up, sighted his target and let the arrow loose. He hit his mark, the warg barely having any time to make a sound before it hit the ground, dead.

Kili let himself have a moment of satisfaction before he realised he’d been spotted. He knocked another arrow and released it before knocking another one and charging into the orc camp, a battle cry falling from his lips.

********

Fili had started changing before he had fully woke, the bond he shared with his One causing the change instinctively when he felt Kili’s distress. He let out a ground shaking roar as he charged into the forest, leaving Thorin and Dwalin blinking after him as they reached for their weapons.

********

Kili winced and let out a growl as an orcish sword found its mark, hitting his left arm. He twisted his body, bringing up his elbow and hitting the orc in the face. He grabbed the swords as it dropped using it to gut the orc. He looked around, using a second’s break to catch his breath, taking stock of the dead orcs and wargs, and those who were still coming. It was like the incoming tide, as small wave after small wave came at him. There must have been 60 orcs in total, along with a dozen wargs. He picked up the orc sword, ignoring the blood from numerous cuts that littered his body, and made his grip slippery, and prepared for the next round.

He had just removed the head from another orc when he saw a flash of fur in his peripheral. In the dark, with blood running through his left eye from a cut on his forehead, he couldn’t distinguish colour, and he slashed out, getting enraged when the beast kept sidestepping his blows, taking hits from orc swords instead. Kili waited for an opportunity to strike, and when the beast had turned his attention away from the dwarf, taking a swipe at an orc that got too close, he embedded the orcish sword in the beast.  He was so focused on this new threat; he didn’t see the one come up behind him. He only felt the blow to the head, and as darkness overtook him he heard a pained and enraged roar, finally realising just who he had been fighting.

“Fili,” he whispered as unconsciousness overtook him. He didn’t see Fili sand guard over him, protecting him, until the blood loss became too much, and he fell to the darkness too.

********

Thorin and Dwalin entered the clearing at the end of the fight. Fili and Kili had done a good job, most of the orcs and wargs were dead. Dwalin was disappointed that there were only a half dozen orcs, and one warg left for him to slaughter. After a quick but thorough check for any stragglers, they turned their search to the youngest Durins.

“Kili,” Thorin gasped as he fell to his nephew’s side, hands automatically going to the many cuts littering his body, trying to stop the bleeding. When he realised Kili needed more aid than he could give him there he gathered his youngest nephew in his arms.

“Dwalin, keep looking for Fili, I’m taking Kili back to camp. He can’t be far.” With that he turned and walked back the way they came, missing Dwalin’s stricken look, or the blood coated lion laying less than 10 feet from where he had found Kili.

********

Thorin gently laid Kili down on his bedroll near the fire, quickly stripping his youngest nephew’s tunic off and looking in horror at gashes that littered Kili’s upper body, although the deep cut on his arm, and the large gash on the back of his head worried him more. He hurried to his pack, searching for the healing supplies he had packed, before he quickly reached for the water that had been sitting beside the fire. He pulled out bandages, a salve to stop any infection, some medicinal alcohol, a needle and thread, and the pouch of medicinal herbs. He could only pray it was enough, and that Fili was not hurt as badly, or worse, than his brother as he settled himself back down next to Kili, supplies in easy reach.  As he plunged a cloth into the still warm water he sent a prayer up to Mahal that Kili’s wounds were not as bad as first appearances made them look, and that he would soon wake.

Quickly but carefully, Thorin removed the blood that had dried to Kili’s skin, working his way closer to the cuts, trying to work out which ones needed more immediate healing. He let out a sigh of relief that none of them appeared too deep, and held out hope that his youngest nephew would wake soon. When he was satisfied Kili’s arms, chest and stomach were as clean as he could make them, he started to ready a needle and thread to close the worst of the cuts.

“Fee...” Kili moaned, his head tossing a little.

“Shh, inùdoy, you’re ok.” Thorin ran a hand through Kili’s tangled hair, hissing quietly at the heat he could feel coming from his forehead. Infection was already starting to set in somewhere it seemed.

“H-hurts U-Uncle,” Kili stuttered, chocolate eyes glassy and unfocused, his face contorted with pain.

“I know Kili, I know. But you’re ok.” Thorin uncorked the bottle of alcohol, dipping the needle inside to sterilize it. Then he looked at Kili, who was watching him back with wary eyes, gaze flitting from the needle to the bottle of alcohol, to his own torso.

“U-Uncle, p-please. N-no.”

“I have to Kili. If I don’t, they’ll get infected, or you’ll bleed out. Your mother and father would never forgive me if I let that happen, saying nothing on what your brother would do.”

At the mention of Fili, Kili let out a keening noise, the pain in it ripping through Thorin.

“Hush, Kili. It’s ok, you’re ok.”

“Fee... Fee please. I-I’m s-so-rry,” he hiccupped out, tears falling from his eyes.

Thorin looked around, pleased when he saw a small stick of wood lying within arm’s reach. He took it before he gently pressed it to Kili’s lips. “I need you to bite down on this,” he said as he stroked tangled brown hair away from Kili’s face.”

“N-no, n-need Fi-Fili. Wh-Where..?” Kili turned his head away, knowing what his uncle was about to do.

“Kili, I have to do this. Do it for your brother if not for you.”

Reluctantly Kili let Thorin put the wood between his teeth, and tried to prepare himself for the agony he knew was coming. He closed his eyes, but let out a horrifying scream when the alcohol made contact with his wounds. Tears escaped his tightly clenched eyelids as Thorin started stitching up the worst of the wounds.

Thorin was most of the way through the many wounds when Kili suddenly went limp, head lolling to the side, causing Thorin to hastily press two fingers to his nephew’s throat in panic. He let out a relieved sigh when he felt the steady _thump_ beneath his fingers. It seemed pain had overwhelmed Kili, and it was both a blessing and a curse that the youngest had passed out.

He hurriedly finished stitching the worst of the wounds closed, before he turned Kili, propping him awkwardly against his thigh so that he could see the wounds on his back.

Thankfully there were not as many as on the front of Kili’s body, but Thorin was sure his heart stopped when he saw what had to be claw marks that ran from the back of Kili’s left shoulder to his right hip.

“You’re ok Kili,” Thorin murmured as he wiped away blood with a wet, warm cloth.

He repeated the process as he had on Kili’s chest and stomach, checking constantly that Kili was still alive, as no movement came from the archer. Once Kili’s back was treated he covered all the wounds with the salves and herbs, before he bandaged what he could. He was grateful that they weren’t too far from the settlement. Kili needed help.

And Dwalin and Fili weren’t back yet.

Thorin tried to ignore what that might mean, and focused on his youngest nephew.

********

“Fili? Come on kid!” Dwalin was not panicking. Absolutely **_not_** panicking. Never mind that he couldn’t get the bleeding to stop, or that he was afraid to try and remove the Orc sword from the lion’s side, or that Fili hadn’t moved or uttered a sound. Or that Fili hadn't shifted back to his dwarven form. Or that his thick headed King, cousin and best friend had once again honed in on Kili, forgetting about his eldest nephew. Seeing no other option, Dwalin threw back his head and bellowed.

“ **THORIN!** ”

********

“’M sorry F-Fee. Di-Didn’t m-me-an i-it. D-Don’t l-le-ave m-me.”

Thorin ran a hand through his hair as he held Kili securely to his chest. He needed to warm the boy up, but he couldn’t lay him on the ground, not with the state of his back.

“P-ple-ease Fee. D-don’t l-leave. D-don’t g-go where I-I c-can’t f-fol-low.”

Thorin pressed his cheek against the top of Kili’s unruly mop of hair, gently rocking him back and forth. He hadn’t woken again, but his fevered ramblings were getting more and more desperate. And always centred on his brother. Thorin hoped Kili didn’t know something he didn’t.

That was when he head Dwalin calling him.

 _“ **THORIN!** ”_ He raised his head from Kili’s, and looked around, but there was no sight of his shield brother.

He was torn. He couldn’t leave Kili defenceless and unprotected, but... he had never heard Dwalin sound like that before. Not during the sacking of Erebor, not while on the road, not even at Moria. He wavered a few more seconds before another, more urgent sounding yell, and a mental shove, pushed him to move. He carefully laid Kili on the bedroll on his side, covering him with what blankets he could. He said a prayer to Mahal that he was doing the right thing, and then ran for the forest.

It was times like this he wished he shared the telepathic link that existed between Ones, and those who shared similar animal forms, like the one that existed between Fili, Frerin and Vili, with someone other than Dwalin. Being telepathic with Dwalin was almost pointless most of the time.

“What is it?” he panted as he burst into the small clearing again.

“We need help.”

Thorin looked at the bright red blood covering Dwalin’s hands and arms, then down at the lion before him.

“Fili,” he breathed as he dropped to his knees. He didn’t know where to touch to help him. He looked back at Dwalin’s stricken face. They were in trouble. Fili as a lion was too heavy for them to lift and move, and neither had ever mastered walking more than a few steps on two legs in bear form.

“We’ll have to rig a litter and drag him. He can’t stay here and I can’t leave Kili alone.” Thorin ran his hands through his silver streaked hair, uncaring of the blood he was smearing through the strands. The trip had gone from bad to worse. “What in Mahal’s name are orcs doing so close to the settlement anyway?”

“No idea,” Dwalin grunted as he started to shift. As a bear it was easier to pull down and break apart the larger, thicker branches they would need. “ _How’s the little one?”_

“It’s bad Dwalin.” Thorin removed his coat and outer tunic, tearing the tunic into pieces to make something Fili could rest on. “He’s absolutely covered in wounds. And fever has set in already. He keeps rambling. About Fili.”

The bear stopped its assault on the trees, turning blues eyes on Thorin. “ _It won’t come to that. The lad will be ok. And we’re only a few hours away from home._ ”

“I hope so.”

With that, they set about quickly making a litter, Thorin going back now and then to check on Kili

********

They had just moved Fili onto the litter when 2 golden blurs burst into the clearing, causing them to draw their weapons, and stand defensively in front of the unconscious lion. They stepped aside and sheathed their weapons when they realised one was Vili and the other Frerin.

Both big cats panted hard, as if they had run the entire way from the settlement, which they must have done. It had been less than 3 hours since the fight ended, and, although they weren’t that far from the settlement, it was still a long way to run.

Vili moved to his son’s head, nudging him with his own. He let out a broken sound when he didn’t react, and Vili pushed again and again, letting out a mournful cry when Fili never stirred. Frerin started at the lion’s back legs, licking a rough tongue gently over the wounds, cleaning them of blood and dirt, whimpering in distress when some of the cuts kept bleeding. Satisfied that Fili would be looked after, Thorin and Dwalin returned to Kili.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this isn't fluffy yet? Although, have some healing.

By the time they had gotten back to the settlement, everyone was on the verge of panic.

Kili had stopped his fevered ramblings, his body limp and unresponsive as his wounds were attacked by infection, fever wracking his body, too high for him to even shiver. His breathing was rapid and shallow, pupils unresponsive and he was no longer sweating.

Fili hadn’t stirred. His breathing was slow but shallow, his chest barely rising and falling. His wounds continued to bleed, regardless of the medical attention they had been given, and all the dwarves were worried. They had done what they could to patch him up, but they didn’t want to stitch the wounds closed, because they all knew the stitches wouldn’t hold when he shifted back to his dwarven form, and they had no desire to stitch him up more than once.

Frerin and Vili had managed to drag the litter, and Fili, back to the camp, where the light of the fire showed just had badly the lion was wounded. Cuts littered his body, just as many, if not more than Kili had. And they were deep. It was clear to everyone that Fili had been more interested in protecting Kili than himself.

But the most worrisome was the orc sword. It was buried deep in Fili’s flank, dangerously close to some very vital organs. No one was sure if it had hit anything, and they were therefore wary of pulling it out, and potentially casing more harm. They bound the wound tightly, ensuring the sword would move as little as possible, while Vili and Frerin dragged him back to the mountain.

Cautiously, under the watchful eye of the boys’ father, Thorin gathered Kili into his arms, and started the trek back home, Frerin and Vili, and Fili, behind him, with Dwalin protecting their blind side. Thorin could only pray they would encounter no more trouble.

********

Thorin knew Dis would be angry when she saw the state her sons were in. He should have been expecting some form of retribution. He thought he’d have some time to prepare.

He was wrong.

He hadn’t even made it through the front door before Dis was swinging an axe towards him. It was only seeing Kili in his arms that made her stop before she actually injured him. But the fire in her eyes more than promised that she would be having strong words with her big brother. And if she didn’t like what he had to say, Frerin would be taking over as leader of their people until Fili was of age.

But if he thought her reaction to seeing Kili was bad, it was nothing on her seeing Fili. As soon as she laid eyes on her first born as Frerin and Vili dragged the litter inside she ran to him, dropping to her knees beside him, gently running a hand through his mane. She let out a small whimper as she took stock of his injuries. He could see the tears she was stubbornly refusing to let fall clinging to her eyelashes, and on her nod, Frerin took off toward the healing houses, his fear rolling off him in waves.

Grateful that her attention was no longer on him, Thorin moved to the boys’ bedroom, gently laying Kili on the bed. He carefully stripped Kili of his clothes, leaving him only in his small clothes, before he fetched a basin full of cool water and a cloth. He sat heavily on the bed, and gently ran the dampened cloth over Kili’s skin, careful of his numerous wounds.

He heard the door open behind him, but ignored it, knowing who it was.

“You will tell me what happened to my sons Thorin Oakenshield, and you had better have a good explanation for bringing them home in this state.” Dis pulled up a chair, and sat beside her youngest, running a hand through his brown locks. “Oin doesn’t like that Fili hasn’t shifted back like he was supposed to. He’s not sure what it means.”

Thorin stopped his movements and Dis took the cloth from his lax hands, taking over the care of her baby. “I’m sorry Dis.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough. Not this time. You’ve been gone less than a day, and you bring both my boys back half dead. It was supposed to be a hunting trip! Do you have any idea how terrified I was when Vili started shifting in bed? When he took off out through the doors and into the forest, Frerin on his tail, with no word of what was happening? Do you?!” Her voice was a low hiss, quiet enough not to rouse Kili, but her anger and fear was unmistakable.

“Dis, really, I’m-”

“Get out. I don’t want you in this house. You and Dwalin both. I don’t want to see either of you.”

“Dis, I-” Thorin ducked when a small knife flew past his head, close enough to slice into the top of his ear. Dis had missed on purpose.

“Go Thorin.” Frerin’s voice came from the door. “I’ll keep you up to date on the boys’ conditions. You have a settlement to run anyway.” Frerin looked ready to forcibly remove him if he didn’t go willingly so he left, pressing a quick kiss to Kili’s burning forehead under his siblings’ watchful gazes. He skirted around Fili’s prone form, still lying where he was left, with Oin and 2 other healers crowded around him, and Vili hovering worriedly. He grabbed Dwalin’s arm and pulled him along with him.

He planned on giving Dis and VIli a few days to calm down. Kili would be awake, and both he and Fili should be well on their way to healing by then.

At least that was the plan.

********

Dis and Vili were vicious in their protectiveness of their sons. Dis sat by her eldest’s bedside, between his and Kili’s beds, her axe across her legs, threatening anyone and everyone who came near, with the exception of Oin.

Vili prowled in his cougar form. The golden cat patrolled around the house, always coming back to check on his sons before making the lap again. He was almost worse than Dis, growling at anyone he deemed getting too close to his family.

Even Thorin and Dwalin weren’t safe. Dwalin had a rather nasty bite on his thigh from Vili and Thorin had almost lost his head when he climbed in through the window. He’d been chased from the room by both Dis and Frerin, his brother following him from the house, a roar following him down the path to his own lodgings.

As Thorin sat in his chair, pipe smoking in his hand, he thought back on the last few weeks, the events that had led to the current moment.

Kili had been bullied most of his life. His status as a prince of the line of Durin, and Thorin’s nephew not sparing him the cruelty of the other children’s taunting. There had been numerous times both boys had come home with bloody knuckles and split lips, bloody grins as they recounted their latest scrap. The fights lessened once the other kids realised Fili could transform at will and the entire settlement knew the only ones who could realistically take on Fili in that form and win were his father and uncle.

It didn’t stop the bullying though, it just became more verbal, and stopped happening around Fili.

The hunting trip seemed like a good idea. The settlement could always do with some more meat, and it would give the 3 royals and Dwalin, a chance to get away from their everyday responsibilities.

And after Ori’s hurried entrance to the forge and the accusations, even if unknowingly true, that had been thrown around, Thorin had truly believed it would be good for all of them.

He hadn’t taken Kili’s still raw feelings into account when he had yelled at him when he missed an admittedly difficult shot, and, while he trusted the merchants when they said the forest surrounding Ered Luin were clear and safe, he hadn’t checked himself and he would never forget it.

And now, both his nephews were lying unconscious in their beds. Neither had really woken since they had arrived back at their homes. Kili’s fever had lessened, and the ramblings that had started again as his temperature had dropped had ceased once more, variations of his brother’s name, and _I’m sorry_ the only words that had been understandable.

Kili was healing well otherwise, the cuts that littered his torso and back were healing nicely, with 2 exceptions. The claw marks on his back were still raw, although Oin had said they were healing well. It would make drawing his bow difficult and painful for a while, and would more than likely scar, but they would heal in time and Kili would have full movement. His arm, on the other hand. The cut was deep, and infection had set in quickly. Oin was worried initially that he may lose some movement as the muscles had been damaged, and then possibly the entire forearm as infection ravished his body and Oin had been almost helpless to stop it, but it too looked to be healing well. It was still slightly infected, although it no longer held the green tint is had only days before, and when Oin manipulated the arm, wrist and fingers, full movement had happened. But Kili would be doing little physical work with it for a few weeks. He would be able to make his arrows, but no shooting, or forging, or hunting for at least a month.

But it was Fili who had everyone worried. 2 weeks after the attack and he was still unconscious, not having moved at all since the fight. When he still hadn’t shifted after a week, Oin had forced a concoction down his throat, forcing the change. It was agonising to watch, and Fili’s wounds had reopened with the shift. The sword wound, while deep, had not hit any organs, and Oin was hopeful that there would be no lasting effects from the injury. He would be sore when he woke, and probably stiff for a while. He would need to work up to training and forging again. And even though he was ambidextrous, Fili favoured his right side; the side with the sword wound. There was muscle damage, and until Fili woke, not even Oin could guess at what the repercussions of an injury like that might mean. It was also possible he may forever walk with a limp, his left leg having been more severely injured than first thought, with his calf muscles being damaged in the fight.  

Many of his wounds were infected, orc weapons not being the cleanest, and being dragged back home, on a litter or not, hadn’t helped any. His wounds were deep, and even after being stitched shut, bled sluggishly for days. Oin and some of his most trusted healers had spent days watching Fili around the clock, keeping his fever down, trying to stop infection from spreading, and watching for the tiniest change in either direction. When 3 days had passed and his fever had started to drop, Oin sent his healers home for rest, left instructions with Vili and Dis, and headed home himself. He dropped by every day, but there had still been no change.

Everyone was worried. There was a groove starting in a path around the house from Vili’s pacing, and Dis had hardly left the room. Even Frerin had taken to sleeping there, the lynx a barrier in the hallway before the door to the boys’ room. Thorin had difficulty concentrating, more than once hitting himself with his blacksmith’s hammer when his attention wandered from his work. His left hand was still tender from the most recent incident that morning. Even Dwalin was suffering, being taken down by some of the older dwarflings at training when his concentration lapsed and he didn’t keep an eye on what was happening in the training ring.

Thorin swore as ash from his pipe dropped onto his arm, his attention once again not on what he was doing as the pipe tipped to the side. He was bought out of his self recriminations by a pounding at the door. Frerin was standing on the other side.

“Kili’s awake.”

********

When Kili woke the first time, all he could comprehend was pain. His entire being was pain. He wasn’t sure where he was, or what was going on. All he knew was pain, and so he did the only thing he could think of.

He screamed.

********

The next time he woke, he felt kind of floaty. He knew he was in pain, but it was distant, unfocused. He was aware of it like you’re aware of your arm; you know it’s there, but more in the back of your mind than blaringly obvious.

“Kili?” His mother’s voice sounded close by and he felt someone pick up his hand. “Kili? Sweetheart? Can you open your eyes for me? Please?”

He groaned quietly as he moved his head and tried to open his eyes. They opened a crack, enough to let the light in before he squeezed them shut, bringing up an arm that felt extremely heavy to shield them. He heard the whisper of fabric as heavy drapes covered the windows and the darkness behind his eyelids got darker.

This time, when he tried to open his eyes he was successful.

“Amad?” he whispered, as her face came into focus. He could see his father behind her, both of them smiling wetly.

“Oh, my baby, I’m so glad you’re ok.” His mother gently wrapped him in a hug, pulling him to sit upright, and he leaned against her chest, his head resting on her shoulder. Vili wrapped him up from the other side. His back was aching, and he could feel the pull of new skin but it was worth it to be in his parents’ arms again.

“Fee?” Kili whispered against his mother’s neck. “Where’s Fee?” When Dis pulled back, Kili could see his brother lying on the bed behind her, and he let out a small whimper. “No, Fee?” Kili struggled feebly in his mother’s hold, trying to get away, to get to his brother, his One, his life. “No, I need... Let me go!”

“Shh Kili, it’s ok. You’re brother’s fine.” Kili just struggled harder, paying no attention to Frerin and Thorin as they all but ran into the room.

“No, he’s not! It’s not...” Kili couldn’t put into words what he was feeling. In his mind Fili felt fragile, thin, like he wasn’t all there and that scared him. Fili was a larger than life presence, He was strong, and solid, and _real_. Not the way he felt right now.

Kili struggles slowed, his movements ceasing, and he dropped his head as tears ran down his face. “It’s my... fault. I’m... sorry... Fee. ’m so... sorry.”

Dis shared a look with her husband, then her brothers, as Kili fell into her arms, and cried himself back into unconsciousness.

********

Kili woke with his nose buried in a strong neck, one arm across a muscled stomach, the other tangled in blonde hair. He let out a sigh of relief, small as it was, to be wrapped around his One again. He snuggled closer, inhaling his brother’s scent. It was buried under the scent of poultices and ointments, but it was there just the same.

Only...

Kili closed his eyes, and concentrated harder on his brother’s smell.

It was different.

And not in a good way.

He didn’t smell like those sick, or dying, but the wildness of his scent was missing. Putting it down to being stuck in a bed, Kili drifted off to sleep.

********

“Why won’t Fee wake?” he asked his mother, as he practically swallowed his food whole. It had been 3 weeks since the attack, one since Kili had woken, and still Fili hadn’t stirred at all. He grimaced as the healing wound on his arm pulled slightly but it was getting better every day. There would still be no forging, nor hunting, but Oin had given the all clear for him to start making his arrows again.

Dis ran a hand through Kili’s messy hair. “I don’t know love. But Oin isn’t worried. You’re brother was badly wounded, and it’s just taking a little more time for him to heal.” She snuck a worried glance at her oldest, sending a prayer to Mahal that today would be the day he would wake.

“But, my little Raven, today _you_ are going outside. You’ve been stuck in this house for weeks. It’s time to get outside, get some fresh air.”

“But-”

“No buts. You’re Uncle Frerin is starting to get on my nerves with his constant hovering and pacing, and I’ll commit murder if he doesn’t get out of my hair. So _you_ are going to take him out. Just, go to the market, or have a picnic by the river or something. Anything to give me a moments rest from him.”

She looked down to see Kili’s face, fear written across the same dark features he shared with her and her oldest brother. “Fili will be fine Kili. I will be here, I won’t leave him. I just really need you to keep your uncle away for a few hours. I promise if anything changes you will be the first to know.”

She bent to kiss him gently on the forehead before knocking hers against his. She pulled back. “Now,” she clapped her hands together, “you need a bath before you go anywhere. You’d scare away pray if you were going hunting today.”

Kili pulled a face as he took a sniff under his arm. A bath it was.

********

“Why are you wearing a hole into the hallway outside our room?”

Frerin looked up from the arrow shaft he was carving to cast an amused look at his youngest nephew. “That transparent am I?”

Kili dropped heavily beside his uncle, wincing at the pull in his back and ignoring the knowing look Frerin shot him, taking the arrow shaft and knife from his hands and trying to fix what Frerin had done. “I can hear you pacing outside the door at all hours, and,” Kili held up the unfixable arrow shaft, “this piece of shit is not to your usual standards.”

“You’re mother will have both our heads if she hears you talking like that.” Frerin pulled the shaft from between Kili’s fingertips and put it away, ignoring the giggles coming from the brunette. It was nice to hear him laughing again, even if it was at his expense. Kili had spent far too long unconscious for Frerin to worry over some light teasing. He pulled another barely started shaft from his quiver. “You do better then.”

With a smirk, Kili took the wood and started shaping it, while Frerin watched; checking to make sure Kili was actually feeling ok. It had been only a week since he had woken, and all the adults still worried over him. After an hour Frerin was convinced Kili wasn’t going to cut his fingers off, and lay back in the grass, folding his hands behind his head

He closed his eyes, his mind automatically feeling out for those he and his animal held dear. He could feel Vili, his sorrow and fear for his eldest warring with his anger at Thorin. It would be a good while yet before Thorin would be anywhere near forgiven.

He could feel the others in the settlement that could shift into cats. There weren’t many, and he knew them all. He could feel them all in his mind as they went about their days, working, minding children, and, for the few children that could shift into cats, having some fun.

He could feel a female presence at the edge of his mind. His One. He knew not who she was, nor what she shifted in to, but he knew she was out there. He just had to find her. And he would. Her presence grew stronger in his mind as the weeks and months wore on, and he knew she was getting closer to the settlement.

However, in the midst of all this happiness, and contentment that casting his mind out to the others always bought him, there was one thing missing. One _person_ missing. One thing that bought him profound sadness and grief.

Fili’s lion was missing from his mind.

Vili had confessed, in the wee hours of the night, only a week ago, that he could no longer feel his son’s lion presence in his mind. And, with a heavy heart, Frerin had told him the same. They agreed to keep the new knowledge from everyone else. They didn’t know what it meant for certain, regardless of what they thought, and they saw no need to worry anyone further.

They had enough to worry about as it was.

********

Frerin was bought out of his heavy musings when Kili nudged him with his knee. “Frerin?”

“Mmm.”

“I-I need to tell you something.” Frerin cracked an eye open, unused to hearing Kili so uncertain. Kili was looking at the ground, twirling an arrow shaft between his fingers. His feet were tapping along the ground, and he was practically twitching with nervous energy.

“What is it Kili?” Frerin pushed himself up to a sitting position next to his youngest nephew.

“I ah... I...” Kili dropped his head, pulling up blades of grass. “It’s about Fili, about how he got hurt.”

“We know Kili.” Kili looked up in shock and his heart sank. “He called for us. That’s how your father and I knew to come and help you. We know it was orcs. We know he came to help you when you decided to take them on by yourself. We know he was protecting you, as he always does. We know-”

“No!” Kili interrupted. “You don’t know.” He pushed himself to his feet, pacing in front of his bewildered uncle, ignoring the sharp pain in his back when he moved to quickly. “Yes, I took on orcs alone and it was a stupid thing to do. Yes, he came to help me. Yes, he was protecting me, as he always does, at his own expense. But...” Kili stopped, dropped his head and looked at the ground. Frerin was startled when a single tear dripped off his nose and onto the ground. “It was not the orcs that stabbed him.”

“Kili, it was an orcish sword in his side. We all saw it.”

“I didn’t take mine when I left camp.”

Frerin pushed himself up and came to stand beside him. “Kili, what are you saying?”

Kili looked up to his blonde uncle, fear written across his dark features, tears making his eyes bright. “I did it. I stabbed him with the orcish sword.”

“Kili-”

“I didn’t mean it.” Anguish was clear on his face and in his voice. “I didn’t realise it was him. It was dark, there were so many orcs, and wargs and when he came barrelling through the trees I couldn’t tell friend from foe. I attacked him. And he still tried to protect me.” Kili fell against his uncle as he cried out all the blame and self hatred that he had buried since that night. Frerin wrapped him tight in his arms and gently lowered them both to the ground. “I d-didn’t m-mean i-it, F-Fre-rin. I’m s-so so-sor-ry.”

“Shh, Kili. I know, it’s ok.”

When Kili’s sobs died down, he pulled back, wiping Kili’s tears with gentle fingers. “It’s ok Kee. Fili will be ok, and everything will be sorted. Fee knows that what you did will have been done out of fear, and not intentional, and all will be well.”

When Kili nodded Frerin pressed another arrow shaft into his hands and Kili, grateful for the distraction, set to work again. Frerin settle himself back down on the grass, keeping a careful eye on the youngest Durin.

********

At some point Frerin must have dozed off because he was roughly woken when Kili whacked him none too gently on the stomach with the back of his hand.

“Can we go to the market Uncle? I’m feeling kind of twitchy.”

 _‘Understatement”_ Frerin thought as he looked around at Kili’s work. He had not only finished the arrow shaft Frerin had handed him, but the others he had bought too. 12 arrow shafts were now neatly lined up along the ground, most fletched as well and Kili’s hands were twitching where they rested on his thighs.

“We can.” Frerin heaved himself up off the ground, and then helped his nephew do the same after he had put away the supplies. “What say we head to Bombur’s and get some lunch? Maybe see if there are any sweets to be found on the way? I’m sure your Amad would like something.”

At that Kili finally smiled, and uncle and nephew headed off towards the market place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only half of the original chapter. I had to split it because the second half is just not playing fair, and fighting me every single word. And I didn't think it fair to leave you all hanging, especially when you all left such nice reviews that I was sitting on the Tube heading to work and grinning like an idiot. I'm sure everyone on the carriage thought I was an idiot.  
> Hopefully the rest will come faster now that this has been posted and I'm not trying to force it. Let me know what you think. Comments are worth more than gold


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili wakes. But there are consequences to be discovered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out to you all. I've had the last part written since before I posted chapter 3, I just couldn't get to there. Hopefully the next chapter will be faster. You might want some tissues... or some chocolate.

“Fili?” The word was quiet, his name breathed into his neck. “Fee, I need you to wake up.” His brother’s voice was quiet, but thick. “It’s been weeks and I... I can’t live without you. It’s too hard. I need you.” A kiss wet with tears was placed on his cheek. “Please. Don’t leave me.”

Never one to deny Kili anything, Fili slowly turned his head, without opening his eyes, and nuzzled into his One’s chest. “Kee,” he moaned softly.

“Fili?” The hope in Kili’s voice was unmistakable. “Fee? Open your eyes _Amralime._ Please.” Warm, wet drops hit Fili’s cheek. “Please, open your eyes.”

What else could Fili do but comply? Very slowly he blinked open sky blue eyes to see amber ones, full of hope, looking back. Relief crossed Kili’s features before he gently kissed him.

“Welcome back,” he breathed before pressing another kiss against Fili’s slack lips.

“Water,” Fili croaked, voice harsh and throat sore.

Kili threw back his head, without letting the blonde go, and yelled. “MA!” He pressed more kisses over his beloved’s face as they heard a mug hit the ground in the kitchen before 3 sets of feet pounded up the stairs and the bedroom door was flung open.

Fili looked past Kili to see his mother and father, and Frerin, in the doorway.

“Fili,” Dis breathed as she pushed passed everyone and made it to her son’s bedside. Gently she gathered Fili in her arms, sitting him up and holding him close. She ran her hands through his hair and over his back and shoulders as she cried.  “Oh Fili, I’m so glad you’re awake. You scared all of us so badly. Oh Mahal, thank Mahal.” Fili looped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

“I’m ok Amad,” he croaked out.

She raised her head to look at him. “Of course you are. Frerin, can you fetch Oin, and let Thorin and Dwalin know.” She wiped a hand across her damp cheeks. “Vili, some water please.”

Fili barely noticed them leave, wrapped in his mothers embrace, but he was glad for the mug of water his father bought back.

“Let the boy breathe Dis,” Vili chided his wife as he handed Fili the water. “Slow down Fili, you’ll choke, or make yourself sick.” Once Fili was done, he hauled his son in for a hug of his own.

“Never again Fili,” he whispered into golden hair. “Never, ever do that again. My poor heart can’t take it.”

“Promise Adad,” Fili whispered against his father’s neck. “How long?”

“A month. Give or take a few days.” Vili couldn’t stop running his hands over his son.

Fili pulled back in shock. “A month?” His hand went to his side where the new skin was still tender and a bit tight.

“You’re awake now. That’s the most important thing,” Dis said as she took Fili back into her arms.

“Ok everyone, give the boy some room.” Oin bustled into the room, making shooing gestures with his hands as he set his bag on the floor next to the bed.

Fili yawned widely as Vili settled him back on the bed, and his eyes shut against his wishes.

“Not yet Fili. Open your eyes. You can go back to sleep in a minute.” Oin practically shouted at him as he readied his instruments. He lifted Fili’s tunic, inspecting the cuts and humming in pleasure when they all appeared to be healing well, with no sign of further infection. He gently pressed around the area the sword had been, pleased when Fili only squirmed against the pressure, but was in no pain.

Fili yawned again as Oin manipulated limbs, making sure his legs and feet, arms and hands were all working well after a month in bed. Then he forced some vile tasting mixture down Fili’s throat, making the blonde prince gag.

“Broth and small amounts of bread only for a few days, just until we know you’re stomach isn’t going to reject food after so long on only broth and water.” Oin started packing up his things, pulling a large glass of what looked like pinky coloured water on the bedside table. “Once a day, a spoonful of this. It’ll help you get your strength back, and prevent any relapse. I want you out of bed every day, for as long as you can. Even if it’s just to the chairs in front of the fire downstairs. Don’t attempt the stairs,” he admonished at the thoughtful look on Fili’s face. “I know you, you’ll try it and break your neck falling down. Let someone carry you up and down to start with. Start slow. Try standing and once you can do that on your own, you can start walking with someone’s help. But don’t push yourself. You’ve been out for a long time, be patient. And NO SHIFTING!”

Filli huffed at that, but his annoyance was broken by another jaw cracking yawn. It was ridiculous. He’d been awake less than 30 minutes.

Kili came back to the bed, curling up around his One. “It’s ok Fee. Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Fili wriggled as much as his exhausted body would allow, snuggling into Kili’s warmth. “Love you Kee,” he breathed out  as sleep overtook him.

“Love you Fee.”

********

The day after Fili first woke, Kili practically hauled him out of bed, and carried him to their father’s chair in front of the fire downstairs. Fili was asleep only a few minutes later, not even feeling his mother cover him with a blanket.

“Will he be ok Amad?” Kili asked, fear still laced through his voice as he sat at Fili’s feet shaping some more arrow shafts. Soon he would be allowed back into the forge to start making the heads and Oin promised him he would be allowed to hunt soon.

“He will be fine Kili. He just needs to regain his strength.” Dis tried to fill her voice with hope, but she couldn’t help the worried glance she threw at her eldest.

Fili managed a bowl of watery stew and a spoon of Oins concoction before Vili put him to bed. He ran a hand through his son’s golden hair as he looked at him with slight fear. Fili was awake, and he thanked Mahal a hundred times a day for that, but his lion was still gone from his mind. Frerin had confided that he couldn’t feel it either.

Vili sighed as he stood. Yes, his son was back, but was he still whole?

********

A week later and Fili was eating solid food. He groaned in appreciation as he practically inhaled the meat and potatoes on his plate. He was staying awake most of the day, only an hour’s nap in the morning, and one in the afternoon after his exercise. Oin had him doing laps of the house, as many as possible, to get his strength and stamina back. And already Fili was bored. He was itching to change, but Oin had told him not yet. He needed more strength behind him before he attempted to change as a shift took a lot of energy, even from one that was healthy and hale.

So, reluctantly, FIli agreed to Oin’s directions. He walked around the perimeter of the house, getting more and more laps in every day. Kili was always hovering near, afraid of letting him out of sight. Fili knew he felt guilty over something, but Kili wouldn’t say anything no matter how Fili pestered him. He knew Kili tell him eventually, he always did.

Frerin was around a lot more too. Not that he wasn’t usually, but he never kept an eye on them like their parents and Thorin did. And Thorin was barely around.

It was all very strange.

Finally, one night when he couldn’t sleep, the need to change itching at his mind, he went downstairs to see his father seated in his chair smoking his pipe, the fire burning low.

“Adad?”

Vili jumped at the unexpected noise, turning to see his eldest shuffling his way into the room.

“Fili! What’s wrong? Is everything ok?”

Fili slumped into the other armchair, pulling his legs up underneath him. “Can’t sleep. Want to change but Oin still won’t allow me to shift yet.”

“Soon ,Fee.”

Fili nodded and father and son sat in silence, the fire crackling the only noise in the room.

“Adad?”

“Hmm?”

“Why aren’t Uncle Thorin and Dwalin around much now?”

Vili sighed, put out his pipe and ran a hand through his hair. “Your mother threw them out the night we bought you boys home. She was terrified at the state you two were in and she reacted without thinking. Although,” Vili’s expression darkened, “if she hadn’t, and we hadn’t been so worried about you boys, more drastic things may have been done.”

“Drastic? Like what?”

“Did Frerin tell you your mother almost took off Thorin’s head when he climbed in through your window?”

“She what?” Fili laughed at that.

“Yep. Frerin chased him across the settlement that night, almost to his own door. Your mother was adamant that they weren’t to come near you two. Or even in the house.”

“And Dwalin?”

“He’s got a nice set of marks from my teeth in his leg. Get him to show you when they come around next.”

Fili started to laugh, but it was overtaken by a massive yawn. “Come on little lion, time for bed.” Vili hauled Fili to his feet, and arm over his shoulder, Vili’s wrapped around his waist, as he manouvered him up the stairs and into bed.

“Lion’s gone now adad. Can’t find it.” Fili mumbled as he dropped off to sleep.

“It’s there Fili. You just need to call it out.” Vili pressed a kiss to his forehead. _At least I hope it is._

********

A month after Fili had woken, he had healed enough that Oin had finally given the all clear for him to shift. Dwarves healed faster in their animal form and Oin was not so secretly worried about Fili’s lion. It was the lion form that was injured, although injuries carry between forms, and Fili had been forced to change back to his dwarven form while unconscious. There was no telling what that might do to the lion.

Oin, Dis, Vili, Kili, Thorin and Frerin all went with him, out to the open space before the forest, to watch him change. Fili would admit, only to himself, that he was nervous. His lion side had been strangely quiet since he woke up, and he was itching to change. He had never gone that long without changing before, and it chafed at him. He turned his back to his family, stripped off his clothes, closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he focused on his lion.

He waited a few moments then opened his eyes. Dwarven eyes. He looked down at his hands, legs, feet... all dwarven.

His breath sped up as he willed the change again and again. He had never really had to force it. He had always been able to change quickly and easily. He sent his thoughts to his lion, trying to force the change, uncaring of what forcing it might do. When nothing happened again and again, Fili fell to his knees with a sob choking his throat.

********

Vili felt his heart break as he watched his eldest son stand almost motionless, save for the clenching of his fists for over half an hour. When FIli gave up trying and sank to his knees, he and Frerin shared a look. It had just confirmed what they had been thinking since before Fili woke.

Fili’s lion was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but not. Hobbits soon though :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oin knows of a place they might be able to get help. Thorin hears some hard truths, and Fili gets a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter to date and I'm not sure I'm overly thrilled with it. I need to get this part out to get to the next bit and it just wasn't co-operating with me. So, here it is. This is very Fili centric at the moment, but there are some Kili moments coming up. I have played with distances and timings a bit. I wanted them to come to the Shire through Tuckborough, but from the maps, you can get directly from Ered Luin to the Shire without going near the Took home. So, I've used Thorin's lack of direction above ground for my own purposes.
> 
> And we have HOBBITS!!!!!

Thorin sat in his chair by the fire, head in his hands. His ale sat untouched and forgotten about beside him. Dwalin sat in the other chair smoking his pipe. Neither said a word, both too caught up in their thoughts.

_When Fili had collapsed to his knees, violent sobs tearing from his throat, Vili and Frerin had been the first to move, pulling Fili protectively between them. It was seeing Fili’s violent reaction to them that forced the others to move, Dis pushing Frerin away to pull her eldest into her arms._

_“I think you have something to tell me.” Thorin rumbled quietly to his brother as they watched the small family. But a frown crossed his face as they saw guilt flash across Kili’s dark features as he hesitantly ran a hand through Fili’s hair._

_“Not now brother. Once we get him home.”_

_“We need to fix this. There can’t be a ruler who doesn’t have an animal form,” he muttered dark brows pulled low over blue eyes._

_Frerin looked at him in disbelief, before slapping him over the head. “I think that should be the least of your worries. Your nephew is devastated! He’s just woken after a month unconscious to find his lion form, a part of him that’s always been there, a part of him that was as much him as his dwarven form, is no longer there! How would you feel if you couldn’t shift?” Thorin lowered his head in shame. “Now, Fili has shifted more than you ever have, I think he’s almost spent more time as a lion than he has as a dwarfling. How do you think he feels?”_

_“You’re right Frerin. But we still need to fix this.”_

_“Yes. But because Fili needs it, not because he may one day be King.”_

Thorin was pulled from his thoughts when a knock sounded throughout the small home. Dwalin rose before Thorin could even understand what was happening.

“Oin,” Dwalin’s low voice rumbled, “what can we do for you?”

Never one for propriety, Oin roughly pushed his cousin away and came to stand in front of Thorin. Thorin barely looked up from where he was examining every line, scar and burn mark on his hands.

“I think I know of a way to help the lad.” As always, Oin yelled the news, but it made Thorin finally take notice of what was going on.

“How?”

Oin settled himself in the chair Dwalin had vacated, as Dwalin leaned against the fireplace. He picked up Dwalin’s tankard, and made a face when he realised it was empty.

“Oin!” Thorin’s bark made the old healer look up.

“There’s a place called the Shire, been there once or twice myself, a nice place really. Very green, calm, earthy. Not a lot of stone though. We’ve done some trade there, mainly metal work for them, and getting herbs and food for us. The hobbits live there.”

“Aye,” Dwalin put in. “I’ve heard Balin talk about them. Funny little things from the sound of it.”

Oin nodded. “Yes, well the Old Took, as he is known, is their leader, and he and I have passed letters in the past, often about the art of healing.”

“Get to the point Oin,” Thorin all but growled, and Dwalin half expected to see him changed into his bear form, the growl so true to the nature of his animal.

“Well, the hobbits change too, and their healers have more knowledge of animal forms, and what ails them, than even the elves I think. If there is anyone who can help that lad, it’s a hobbit.”

Thorin sat up. “You are certain of this?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure that they can help him, if his animal is truly gone then no one short of Mahal himself, or maybe a wizard, will be able to return it, but if it is merely injured, hiding while it heals, then the hobbits should be able to help.” Oin pushed himself from the chair and walked to stand in front of Thorin, letting out a pleased sound when he realised that Thorin’s tankard still had ale in it, and proceeded to drink it without any further conversation.

“How far to this place?” Oin ignored him in favour of the drink, but Dwalin answered.

“A couple of weeks I think. I’ve not been there, but we are the closest trading settlement I believe. I could ask Balin, but I’m not sure even he would know.”

Thorin was silent for a moment, contemplating what to do. “Ok. We’re going to go to this Shire, find a hobbit, and get Fili’s lion back. Then we can move on and forget that this ever happened, and we won’t have to worry about having a ruler that doesn’t have an animal.”

With that Thorin rose, grabbed his cloak, and stormed out the door to tell Fili this new plan. He missed the disbelieving looks passed between Oin and Dwalin.

“He doesn’t think it’s going to be that easy, does he?” Oin asked his cousin.

“I’m more worried that he finished with being worried that there will be a ruler without an animal. He seems to forget Fili is his nephew.” Dwalin shook his head, and gathered his things. Balin needed to know about this.

********

Dis hurried to the door, praying that whoever was on the other side wasn’t going to bang a hole in it. She threw open the door, surprised to see her oldest brother there.

“Thorin? What’s happened?”

He strode in past her, barely acknowledging her. “Where’s Fili? I need to talk to him.”

“He’s sleeping Thorin. It’s late, and he’s had a very trying day.” Dis followed him through the room and to the bottom of the stairs, where she had to grab his arm to stop him heading towards Fili’s room. “Thorin! What do you think you’re doing?! He’s still not completely recovered, and the outcome of today has really knocked him around.”

She pulled on his arm until he relented and followed her to the kitchen, where he found Vili and Frerin around the table. “I see I’m the one left out again.” He scowled as he looked at his brother. Frerin wasn’t cowered.

“Well, when your first concern today was whether Fili would be an acceptable leader if he didn’t have an animal, rather than your nephew’s welfare, what did you expect? Fili is fragile right now. He needs love, and reassurance. Something you’re severely lacking with him. If Kili was in his position, it’d be a different story.”

Thorin saw red. He grabbed his brother and hauled him out of his seat, punching him across the jaw, and then slamming him into the wall. He could hear Dis and Vili behind him, ordering him to stop but he ignored them. How dare Frerin speak to him like that?!

“What are you trying to say brother?” he growled.

“Not trying, Thorin. It’s been clear for many years now that you see him less as a nephew and more as an heir-”

“HE IS MY HEIR!” Thorin roared.

“He’s also your nephew!” Frerin yelled back, pushing Thorin away from him. “He is your nephew and that should come first. He may be your heir, but that shouldn’t be all he is. Kili is also an heir, albeit further from the throne, but all you see with him is your nephew. Fili wanted to learn to shoot a bow and you said no, made him focus on axes and swords. Kili wanted to learn to shoot a bow, and you basically fell over yourself to help teach him. Even with the swords, you weren’t happy with Fili learning to duel wield until you actually saw him win a fight.”

“I needed to know he was protected.” Thorin was losing the will to fight with his brother, but Frerin was picking up steam.

“Do you know how incredible a silversmith he is? He learned the blacksmithing because you wanted him to, but his craft is with silver Thorin. His eye, his attention to detail, is incredible. His way of placing the gems, the intricate patterns he creates... you’ve no idea.”

“I didn’t know.”

“You never looked Thorin.” This time it was Dis. “All Fili has ever wanted was to make us proud, you most of all. But everything he has ever done, it’s never been good enough for you. He’s quieter, calmer than Kili, more reserved and cautious-”

“Good traits for a leader.”

“-but, while some of that is just his nature, and who he is, a lot of that is who you have made him become.” Thorin looked up sharply at that. “I remember a child full of questions. One who was forever begging to be allowed outside, to play and explore, and get dirty. A child who followed all the adults around until something else caught his eye and he was off, wandering away somewhere. Fili was never fearless, not like Kili is, but he was still curious and full of wonder. When Kili was born he became the natural protector he is, but Thorin, once he was 20, you took over. You started being a King to him, a teacher. You stopped smiling when he did childish things, and started scolding him instead. When you caught him drawing, you told him he should be working on his runes, or his work for Balin. He was 20 years old when you told him he would one day be the leader if his people. He was 30 when you started teaching him how to be a ruler, when he started sitting in on meetings he didn’t understand, when Lords and councillors, and those of high status started looking at him, not as a little boy, but as someone they could use, someone that could marry their daughters to, someone they could use to get higher standing. And you never noticed.”

“You never noticed when that happy, bright, bubbly little boy started turning quiet, withdrawn, serious.” It was Vili this time. “You never noticed when he stopped being your nephew, and started to be only your heir. He was too young Thorin. What he was learning as a child of 20, is something he should only just be learning now. He’s not yet 80 Thorin. He’s not even of age yet, and you’re pressuring him to do things, and be someone well beyond his time.”

“Stop.” Fili’s voice was gravelly, rough with sleep, and he was rubbing his eyes as he stood in the doorway. “It’s not Thorin’s fault.” Thorin flinched when he realised that Fili no longer called him ‘uncle’.

“Why are you here?”

“Oin knows of a place where we can get some help for your lion. The hobbits that live in The Shire know more about animal forms and shifting than even the elves do. So, we’re going there, the day after tomorrow. We’ll fix this Fili.” Thorin rose and stepped towards him, intent on running a hand through that golden mane but Fili stepped back, into the hall.

“It won’t work Thorin. The lion’s gone. No-one can help me get it back. Something happened out there that night, and it’s gone. It’s not coming back. Maybe you should find yourself another heir. Or have one yourself. Can’t have a ruler without an animal after all. And maybe then I can do what I want to do.”

With that Fili turned and headed back to his room. All the adults were shocked, an only came out of their stupor when they heard the door to Fili’s room slam shut.

********

The next day Fili shoved tunics, a spare pair of breeches, his rain coat and extra knives into his pack before he angrily swiped at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. He could hear Kili pleading for him to open the door, could feel his One’s desperation through the bond but Fili couldn’t face anyone right now. He felt like a failure and Kili’s words, whilst well meaning, were only making him feel worse.

He felt his father’s reassurance as he heard more footsteps outside the door. “Come on Kili. Fili just needs some time to himself.”

Fili sent a wave of gratefulness to his father as he heard them both move down the hall.

Ha grabbed his twin swords, pulling one from the scabbard and sat heavily on the bed. He pulled a whetstone from its place on the scabbard and slid to the floor as he let out a sigh. He harshly sharpened the first falchion as he thought about the day ahead.

The trip was going to be pointless. He, Thorin, Frerin and Vili were to travel to some place called The Shire to see if one of the Halflings could help him find his lion. It was useless. Fili knew his lion was gone. He couldn’t feel it, and he wasn’t dreaming of it. It was just gone.

“You’re not going to have any sword left if you keep doing that.”

Fili looked up into blue eyes that held no pity. Frerin’s hands came up to stop the whetstone’s movements and it was then Fili realised he was shaking, tears steadily rolling down his face.

“Oh Fee.” Frerin took the sword and stone from his hands and pulled his nephew to him, enveloping the shaking dwarf in his arms. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head and let Fili cry. And if a few tears escaped his own eyes, there was no one there to notice. He offered no empty words, no hollow promises or words of reassurance. He just held the terrified dwarfling as he broke down, safe in his uncle’s arms, for that was what Fili was. He was not fully grown. He was not even of age, regardless of Thorin conveniently forgetting that fact. Thorin, who was so focused on the Line, and honour, and Fili’s succession to the throne that he had done nothing but heap pressure on top of Fili’s head his entire life. And now, all that he could think of was that no King of Durin’s Folk could be without an animal form and they had to find a way to get Fili’s lion back. He hadn’t even given Fili time to work out what had happened, or how to deal with it before he had thrown this trip on them to ‘find the lion.’

As Frerin held a crying, terrified Fili, all he could do was hope that it worked. And that it didn’t pull Fili into despair so deep they couldn’t pull him out of. Fili had been raised as the Heir of Durin. If his lion truly was gone, he was almost without an identity.

Fili finally calmed down and Frerin released him, settling back against the bed next to his nephew. Over the last month, he had realised that he had spent more time with Kili than with Fili. Part of that was because Fili was always with Thorin, learning how to be a ruler, and part of it as because he spent time with Kili, hunting, and training with their bows. It made Frerin sad to realise how much he had missed out on in Fili’s life. And how little he knew about his eldest nephew.

But, he was determined to make it up to him.

“I’m sorry Fili.”

“For what?”

“For not spending time with you.”

Fili shrugged. “You had Kili. Like everyone else. Not like I’m surprised, or not used to it. I’m the heir, and Kili’s the one everyone loves and wants to be with. He has friends, I have people I know. People seek him out to do things with, people seek me out to talk to Thorin for them, or ask me for favours, or the like. It is what it is.”

“No Fili, it’s not. It’s not fair, and I’m sorry I let it get this far. I was around a lot more when you were both young, and I want to do that again. I want to get to know you again.”

“You know me better than Thorin.”

“That’s because I’m more observant than Thorin, not because I’ve spent more time with you, unfortunately.”

Fili shook his head and pushed himself to stand. He gathered the whetstone and sword from the floor where Frerin had placed them, and put them back in the scabbard he sat next to his pack, then continued to fill the pack with things he needed. He didn’t need Frerin’s guilt trip on top of everything else right then. All he wanted was to be alone. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t considered doing the trip alone, sneaking out in the night, maybe not making it to The Shire, just finding a settlement he could hide away in. But he couldn’t do that. Not to his family, not to his people, and particularly not to Kili.

He heard Frerin rise and felt an arm slung around his shoulders as a kiss was pressed to his head. “I’m sorry Fee.” And with that Frerin was gone.

********

The next morning they were up and ready early. Kili was still pissed about not being allowed to go, but in the end he had relented. He and Fili had spent the night together, curled up around each other, trading lazy kisses, and lying skin to skin. Nothing went further than that, they just shared the comfort and reassurances they needed. Fili was still sure Kili was hiding something from him, but he was in no mood to press his One for details about something that he wasn’t ready to share. They had fallen asleep tangled together, dark and light, and had been reluctant to separate when the sun’s rays peeked in through the window.

After much mumbling and grumbling, last minute hugs and kisses, and reassurances from Dis to Fili that the hobbits would help him, and a spare map tucked into Fili’s pack by Balin because they both knew Thorin was more than likely going to get them lost, they set off. They knew it would take at least a week, if not more, to get where they needed to, and they wanted to get their as fast as possible. Well, Thorin wanted to get there as fast as possible, Frerin was just grateful to be outside and moving, and Vili was just keeping a watchful eye on Fili.

Fili just didn’t want to go. With one last look at his home, Fili turned in his saddle and headed out the gates that were the entrance to Ered Luin.

********

Fili was sure that, at some point on the journey to The Shire, someone was going to be murdered and he was going to be moved up the line of succession. Just who he thought it would be changed day to day, sometimes hour to hour.

Frerin and Thorin hadn’t stopped sniping at each other since they had left Ered Luin a week ago. Fili shared an eye roll with his father as Thorin started again.

“I don’t see why you all had to come; I could have handled this on my own. Fili is my heir after all. And,” he turned to face Frerin, “you should be running Ered Luin in my stead, or at least helping Dis do it.”

“May I remind you,” Vili’s voice was dark, “that Fili is **_MY_** **_SON_** before he is your heir. If anyone has a right to be going on this search, it is me.”

Fili sighed and let his pony drop back a few steps. He was in no mood to listen to his uncles and father fight over who had a right to be going with him on this search to find the Hobbits, hoping one of them could help find his lion.

********

“You’ve led us in the wrong direction Thorin!” Frerin was at the end of his rope. They should have been in The Shire by now, but they weren’t. According to the man they had passed that morning, they had come too far south, and not far enough east. If they went much further down, they’d have hit the Brandywine River apparently.

“I have not. The map said south west, which is exactly where we’ve been going!”

“Too far south, and not far enough east!”

Fili rubbed a hand across his eyes, then through his hair. He had a headache, and the arguing wasn’t helping. He rose from his spot near the fire and wandered away, sure to keep the fire in sight so as not to wander too far. He found a large rock, still warmed by the earlier sun’s rays, and settled down to think. He heard a noise on the branches above him and looked to see a raven. He smiled sadly. Ravens were the symbol of Erebor. He had heard stories of the great birds that would talk to Durin’s folk. They were used to send messages because they didn’t need to be written down, and none other than one of Durin’s line could understand them. Fili looked back towards the setting sun, ignoring the bird above his head.

“King.”

Fili looked up in surprise, noticing that the raven had inched closer. Sure it was his imagination he closed his eyes, and tried to find his lion.

“King. King, king, king.”

Fili grit his teeth. As if he didn’t have enough to worry about, now he was losing his mind.

“King.” Fili felt the sharp sting of a beak on his leg and he opened his eyes and looked down. The bird was now standing on the rock, next to his leg, looking up at Fili expectantly.

“I’m no king. He’s through there. Follow the yelling. You’ll find him.”

_‘Great. Now I’m talking to a bird.’_

“King.” Fili looked at the bird closely. The raven looked at him. “King,” it croaked. Then it looked in the direction of their camp. “Not king.” It looked back at Fili. “True King.”

Fili rubbed his palms into his eyes, starting when he felt the large bird land on his shoulder. “Fine. You explain this to Thorin.”

Thorin was ecstatic when Fili came back to the camp, a raven on his shoulder. He was less impressed when it would talk to him only to say “not king.” And it wouldn’t leave Fili alone. At one stage Fili had picked it up and sat it on Thorin’s outstretched forearm. Thorin was glad for the bracer because the bird dug its talons into it. He briefly wondered how it hadn’t hurt Fili’s shoulder. The lad was only wearing his coat, and shirts. Not nearly enough protection from those sharp talons. He and the raven studied each other intensely, and Fili had curled up on his sleeping mat, close to the fire. His father had covered him with a couple of blankets and he was almost asleep when he felt the bird land beside him and cuddle in close. Fili just sighed and ignored it.

“Calm down Thorin, it’s only young,” Frerin tried to reason.

“It should still be me it calls King, not Fili.” At that moment the bird popped its head up and fixed an eye on Thorin.

“Not King.” Then it put its head under a wing and went to sleep.

Frerin and Vili couldn’t help themselves, and burst into laughter at the indignant look on Thorin’s face.

“Come on brother. We will give it a message to send to Dis tomorrow and it’ll be on its way.”

“Fine. But I still don’t like that bird.”

Finally the three adults settled down, Vili taking first watch, and Frerin and Thorin getting some sleep.

********

A week later and Frerin felt hope for the first time since the attack, as he crested the hill and stopped, looking over the place called The Shire.

“And here there be answers,” he sighed as Thorin pulled his pony to a stop beside him.

“We can only hope so,” he murmured as they looked over the green land, the small hills dotted with doors to the hobbits homes.

“At least they have the sense to live underground, even if they do remind me of men,” Frerin watched as a portly, older hobbit ambled towards an alarmingly yellow door and disappeared inside, and his brother chuckled.

“That they do.”

They were about to move forward when a cry from behind hem made them stop and turn.

“Fili!

Vili was scrambling off his pony and towards Fili, who had fallen unconscious and slipped from his own pony.

“Fili, wake up!” Vili was violently shaking his son. “Get up! Mahal, Fili, wake up!”

Frerin knelt down next to his nephew, a hand automatically going to his throat. “I think he’s just exhausted,” he said when he found a rhythm under his fingers. He was concerned though; the pulse was unsteady and not as strong as it should be.

“Thorin, give me a hand here. Vili, get back on your pony. We’ll pass him up to you.”

With much manoeuvring, and mumbling, and one near miss where they almost dropped him, Frerin and Thorin manage to get Fili seated in front of Vili.

“Where are you off to lads?” A bright voice behind them made them start. Vili held his son closer and Thorin reached for the sword strapped to his back.

“Whoa.” The young hobbit took a step back, hands raised. “You won’t be needing that ‘round here.”

“Apologies Master Hobbit,” Thorin replied as he removed his hand from the sword. “It has been a stressful few weeks.”

“I can guess.” He moved to see Fili clearly. “Your lad’s not well?”

“No.” Vili tried to hold his son even closer, although that was impossible.

“His animal giving him trouble?” At the surprised looks coming from the dwarves he rolled his eyes. “The only reason outsiders come to The Shire is if there is a problem with their animal. You’ll be wanting my grandfather then. Old Took. He’ll be able to tell you the best person to see for what ails the lad.

“Thorin Oakenshield, at your service Master Hobbit.” He gave a small bow and the hobbit chuckled.

“None of that Master Oakenshield. Adalgrim Took at yours and your family’s.” He gave a little hop as he turned around. “This way, follow me.”

The dwarves had no choice but to comply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said before, I'm not sure on this one. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Comments are love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look at how Kili is feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say thank you to Nelioe, and Iscalibtra for their comments on the last chapter. I realised that I had this whole backstory in my head that somehow hadn't made it to paper, and it was confusing. I blame the fact that I am currently living next to the River Nile in regards to making a personal decision I really don't want to make. 
> 
> I have also turned this into a series, partly due to said backstory, and also because I have a whole lot of one shots in my head for the end of this story.

Kili watched in sadness as his brother, father and uncles rode off without him. He was sad, and jealous, and furious all rolled into one, and the emotions were hot and sitting heavy in his gut. He grit his teeth at the jealousy. Fili was devastated that his animal was gone. And Kili kind of knew how that felt. He didn’t begrudge them going to get help, he was mad at Thorin for leaving him behind.

Dis watched the emotions play across her younger’s face. Kili may try to hide his emotions, not wanting to seem weak, but to those that knew him, he was an open book. She touched his shoulder gently, startling him out of his spiralling thoughts. “Kili?”

“Why wouldn’t they take me with them? Why can’t I go to try and find my animal too?” He tried to keep the tears at bay, but they spilled over with the first blink, and he bit his lip to stop the sobs that threatened to come out.

Dis gathered her youngest in her arms, and Kili buried his face in her shoulder, sobbing out his distress. She kissed the top of his head, and herded him into the house. She settled him in the armchair with cup of hot chocolate, she used the last of her stash of chocolate bought when the last traders went through last winter, and she settled on the floor at his feet.

“Kili,” Dis sighed, not sure where to start. “We haven’t been very fair on you boys. At all.”

“Amad?” Kili was confused. While he knew that he and Fili hadn’t been treated the same way, he didn’t think they had been treated unfairly.

“Fili wasn’t planned. You both know that. He was wanted, and always loved, but... we had only just settled here, in Ered Luin, and we weren’t at all prepared for a child. Your adad and I, we always saw you as our children, but Thorin? Thorin always saw Fili as his heir. The next in line for the throne. Even while he was still mourning the death of adad, and Thror, he saw Fili as the shining light for our people. The new hope. And he was. He still is. You both are. Fili began his training too early. Much too early. Your father and I tried to stop him, but Fili got it into his head that he needed to go. He wanted to show Thorin how grown up he was, how mature he was. I guess he’s still trying to prove himself, but no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, Thorin always puts something else on his shoulders.”

Kili eyed the chocolate in his mug. “He never said anything.”

“No, he won’t. And that’s another part of why we have failed you two. He was taught to be the protector. From the time you were born he was told that to be a big brother meant to protect your sibling. And he’s done that. From the very second you were born he’s done that. And we let him.”

“Amad...”

“And where Thorin was strict with Fili, made him grow up too fast, do too much, place too many expectations on him, he did the opposite with you. He let you do as you wanted. You had to ask to go to school. You were allowed to try out an array of weapons before you decided on the bow, and then both Thorin and Frerin agreed to teach you. You were allowed to try different crafts before you knew that jewellery was your calling. Fili didn’t have any of that. And so, by allowing you to do the things Fili wasn’t we failed you both.”

Kili ran a hand over the slight stubble on his chin. What his mother said made sense. But it didn’t make anything hurt any less. “Frerin?”

“Frerin was around when you were little. He used to come and watch you while your dad and I were out working. Fili adored him, and Frerin loved him right back. Still does. But, as Fili got older, he started spending time with Thorin, and Frerin fell out of his life a little. He spent so much more time with you. He and Thorin still take you on hunting trips, together, and individually. Fili never had that. Every time Fili went with Thorin, it’s been for political talks, trade talks, to see Dain and further our ties. Fili has never been out of Ered Luin for anything other than a lesson. It has all been training, and learning. And then Frerin went away for a while, taking guard duty for caravans, and traders. And when he decided to come back and settle a little, Fili was different. So, he focused back on you, thinking that Thorin was taking care of Fili.”

Kili thought back over the years. Every time he had gone hunting, it had been with one of his uncles. Fili had never come. At first he thought that Fili hadn’t want to, but one night Fili had confessed that he wanted to, he just wasn’t allowed to go. He had to stay and help run the settlement while they were gone. His brother had always brushed it off. And he remembered being jealous of the trips Fili would take away with Thorin. They would go for weeks at a time, and Kili was always upset he couldn’t go too. He thought they would be fun. But, seeing it from the other side, he felt bad for Fili.

“And my animal?”

Dis sniffed wetly. “When we realised you weren’t changing, we looked everywhere. We sent ravens to every group of people we knew. We even sent one to Thranduil who said he didn’t know of a way to make an animal come forth. We even spoke to the Grey Wizard.”

“Gandalf?”

Dis nodded. “He came and saw you when you were young. You probably don’t remember.”

“I remember... something... but- ”

“He said he couldn’t help you. He didn’t know a way to call an animal forward, and he didn’t know of anyone who could. I guess he was talking about Hobbits, but he said he knew of people who could call one out, but only if they had changed previously. He didn’t know of anyone who could just make one appear.”

“That’s why they didn’t take me this time.”

“Partly. I begged Thorin to take you as well, said it would be beneficial for you both, even if you came back with no animals, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s so focused on the line, and succession, sometimes I don’t think he sees you or Fili. He just sees the next generation.”

“Anything else? You said we have been treated differently.”

“Tell me about your friends, Kili. Tell me who they are.”

Kili was surprised at the turn in topic. “You know my friends.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Kili shook his head but did as asked. “Ori, and Gimli, of course. Ferlum, Thaifa, Nuna, Kome, Fleba, Thoki. I don’t know if I would name Nori a friend, but he’s been teaching me things.”

“Yes, yes. I get it. You have a lot of friends. Now, name Fili’s friends for me.

“Well, Ori and Nori and Gimli. And ah...”

Dis waited to see what else Kili would say.

“There’s ah... um... surely... nope, what about...”

Dis let Kili mutter for another minute before she broke into his thoughts. “He really doesn’t have any, does he?”

“But surely he does? He’s always talking to someone, at the markets, or the training grounds, or the tavern.”

“Talking to someone, and calling them a friend, are two different things my love. You may have been bullied, and picked on in regards to your animal, but you have friends. Good ones. And quite a lot of them. You’re open and vibrant, and you draw people to you. Fili? People talk to him because they _want_ _something from him_. Not because they want to be his friend. You made friends because you are lively, and outgoing, but Fili is shy, more reserved. You were allowed to go out and meet people, have fun. Fili was told to be wary, that people would try to take him, that they would try and use him to gain things for themselves. It’s made Fili a little untrusting, and less likely to open himself up to people.”

Dis sighed, and rubbed a hand across wet eyes. “We let Fili grow up too early, and we let you be given too much freedom. And we stood by and watched it happen. That’s why I’m sorry Kili. Your father and I, and Frerin, and anyone else who has had a hand in raising you, we’ve stood back for too long and watched. We should have stepped in years ago, but we didn’t. I don’t know why. Maybe we thought we were doing the right thing? Maybe we didn’t want to upset the balance? But, I can’t let it go on. I can’t watch my boys be torn apart and unhappy because of the way things are.”

“Why now? Why tell me now?”

“Because I’ve decided it’s time to change. You are my boys. You are not Thorin’s heirs. You are not the next in the succession line. You are my boys and that’s all that matters.”

Kili slipped from the chair and into his mother’s arms. “Do you think I’ll ever have an animal?”

“Oh Kili I hope so. I pray to Mahal every night to not be so cruel as to leave you without one. I can only continue to hope and pray Kili. But I do not know.”

Curled up in his mother’s arms, Kili chewed over what he had learned. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He wasn’t even sure what it meant. But he was grateful that his mother was trying to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo soon. And will Kili finally change?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kíli is restless, Bilbo is more astute than he lets on, and Dis gets a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this too so long. Real life got in the way again. I moved back to Australia last month and I'm still readjusting to life back home, and starting university again. This chapter fought me all the way, with the ideas all over the place and not really coming together in the way I wanted it to. Hopefully it all works.

Kíli had been restless from the time his brother left for the Shire. He felt itchy, like his skin was too small to contain him. He had made more arrows in the last 2 weeks than he had in the last 4 months. He spent hours in the forge making arrow heads and helping Bofur and Bifur carve and make new toys for their market stall. Dis was worried at Kíli’s sudden restlessness. He’d always been full of energy, bouncing from one activity to the next, but now his energy was almost manic. She didn’t know if it was a side effect of being away from Fíli, who was his calming influence, or something else. She hoped it was just his way of keeping himself busy.

********

Kíli kicked off his boots beside the door and hung his coat on the hook in the wall. The house was quiet, his mother still at a council meeting and Kíli was grateful. He boiled water on the large fire and rinsed the dirt from his body while the water warmed. After what felt like hours, he had enough water and slid his tired body into the bath. He felt stiff muscles relax as the warmth seeped into them and he closed his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how long he drifted, but he opened his eyes when he felt warm water tipped over his head, wetting his hair. He looked up to see his mother sitting on the floor behind the tub.

“The water was getting cold,” she told him softly, as she poured something into her hands before running her fingers, and the liquid, through his dark strands. “And your hair is desperately in need of a wash.”

Kíli was too tired to be embarrassed that his mother was washing his hair like he was still a dwarfling. Dwalin had stepped up his training when he noticed the extra energy the youngest Durin had and Kíli was exhausted at the end of every day but it didn’t stop the nervous, restless energy that still thrummed under his skin.

He was roused when his mother gently shook his shoulder and he sleepily climbed out of the bath. He carelessly dried off and slipped into his sleeping clothes. He managed to eat half a bowl of stew before he fell into bed and was out before his head is the pillow. He didn’t notice his mother adjust his position, or cover him with the blankets, nor the way she stood in the doorway, worrying on her fingernails.

********

Thorin and Frerin kept an eye on the various hobbits as they passed, Víli keeping Fíli as close as possible. The hobbits were curious, and many hobbit children, ‘ _Fauntlings,’ Aldagrim told them,_ came out from behind their parents to wave and smile at them. They were much more trusting than dwarven children, but then they had no reason not to be.

 Much to the dwarves’ surprise, Aldagrim didn’t bother knocking on the door of the smial they stopped at. As Frerin helped get Fíli off the pony Aldagrim pushed open the door, yelling for someone. Víli had barely pulled Fíli back into his arms when 3 young hobbits bounced out through the open door and over to the ponies.

“Don’t worry lads, the boys will take good care of your ponies.” An older hobbit appeared in the doorway, Aldagrim behind him. “Let’s get the young one inside and have a look at him.”

The dwarves had no choice but to follow him inside.

********

Víli paced the floor behind Thorin and Frerin as the older hobbit, who introduced himself as Gerontius  ‘Old’ Took, took a look at Fíli, muttering under his breath. Finally he stepped back and turned towards Aldagrim, who had been sitting in an armchair in the corner.

“We need Bilbo for this one.” Aldagrim nodded as he stood, but one of the young hobbits stuck his head through the door.

“Bilbo’s in Hobbiton.” Aldagrim shoved him.

“I think you are going blind Fortinbras. Bilbo’s out in the field with the fauntlings, telling them stories of adventures and elves and dwarves and trolls.” Fortinbras opened his mouth to reply and Aldagrim shoved him again. “Come on, let’s get cousin Bilbo to fix this lad.”

Thorin, Frerin and Víli watched the interaction with amusement. Víli turned back to Gerontius. “Do you think Bilbo will be able to help him?”

Gerontius smiled, but it held no promises as he led the adults out of the room, leaving Fíli in the capable hands of his wife. “I give you no promises lads. But if anyone can help him, it’ll be Bilbo.”

********

Bilbo was indeed out in the fields, a large assortment of younger cousins seated on the ground around him, while he sat on a rather large tree stump and told the faunts stories his mother had told him. Stories of her adventures across all of Middle Earth, and her encounters with elves, and dwarves, and wizards.

“Bilbo!” Aldagrim bounced over, sure footed as he moved around the numerous faunts. “I have need of your expertise.”

Bilbo raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m a little busy right now. I-”

Aldagrim never lost his smile but he did seem to lose some of his energy, and Bilbo noticed Fortinbras coming up to stand near them. “Grandfather has asked for you,” he said quietly.

Bilbo nodded his understanding and turned back to the faunts, clapping his hands as his cousins turned back to the large smial.

“Well then, it appears I have to leave you.” He smiled when the faunts all groaned. “Nope, none of that. I’ll be back with more stories. Can’t give away all of them in one day now, can I?” One particular Took faunt crossed his arms and pouted. “Off you go. Go have some adventures of your own. I expect lots of stories from you all next time ok?”

The young ones cheered and took off in all directions and Bilbo chuckled. “You are going to be in so much trouble, cousin, once their mothers hear you are encouraging their mischief making.”

Bilbo bumped shoulders with Aldagrim. “A bit of mischief never hurt anyone. You are well grown now and still stealing cooling pies of window sills.” Aldagrim shrugged and smiled, clearly showing no remorse.

“Now, tell me what’s happened. What does grandfather need?”

********

Bilbo took one look at the lad lying on the bed in Old Took’s smial and sighed, a number of ideas of what may be wrong with the boy running through his head. He stepped towards the bed, ignoring the way the dwarves shifted. He ran a hand through sweaty blond hair.

“Oh, lad. What happened to you?” He sat next to Fíli and took the cold, clammy hand between his, gently rubbing a thumb over the knuckles.

“There was a fight. He was badly injured by orcs. He only woke up a few weeks ago, after a full moon unconscious.”

“Poor lad. And I right to assume there’s a problem with his animal?” A nod from the dark haired dwarf confirmed his suspicions. He looked at the 2 blond adults. “It’s gone, isn’t it.” It wasn’t a question and the one he assumed to be the boy’s father nodded sadly.

Bilbo sighed as he stood, pulling the blankets further up to fully cover the lad to his chin. He stepped back and the dwarves followed him from the room and to the sitting room where his Grandmother Took had laid out afternoon tea and his Grandfather was sat in his cosy armchair near the fire, smoking his pipe. ‘Old Took’ waited until his grandson had lit his own pipe, grabbed a fresh scone, and he and the dwarves had settled into chairs of their own before he started to question them.

********

The 3 adult dwarves recounted their tale yet again. Bilbo nodded as the story progressed, but didn’t interrupt. There was more to the story than they were telling him. And probably more to the story than they were actually aware of. The lad’s animal shouldn’t have gone into hiding from something as common as a fight and a few injuries, regardless of how bad they were. Dwarves were a fighting race, it was a part of them, much like eating was a part of a hobbit. Something somewhere had gone seriously wrong.

And someone was missing.

“Where is his mate?” Bilbo asked and the dwarves blinked in surprise. “Other, other half, soul mate. I don’t know what Dwarves call the one that was made for them.”

“His One,” Thorin finally said. “Dwarves have a One. If they’re lucky.”

“And I presume Fíli has one?”

“Yes. Kíli, but-”

“Well, where is he? Fíli needs his mate, and he won’t get better without them.”

Thorin paled. “He’s... He’s in Ered Luin. We thought it safer not to bring him with us.”

Bilbo eyed the crownless king with something the dwarves couldn’t name but he didn’t say whatever it was that he was thinking. “Well, he needs to be here. I assume you have some way of contacting him then?”

Frerin shook his head. “We sent a raven to Ered Luin on or journey here. It has yet to return, but it has only been a week since it was sent.”

‘Old’ Took hummed around his pipe. “We can find a raven to send a letter to this lad.”

“The ravens of Durin’s line are special,” Frerin said. “We can talk to them. It stops letters being intercepted. It shouldn’t be too long before Dis sends it back to us.”

“I’ll give it a week,” Bilbo said, still looking strangely at Thorin, “just a week. If it isn’t here by then, we send a letter to the lad’s One, and get him here as quickly as possible. Fíli needs him more than anything else right now.”

Thorin nodded meekly and Bilbo let a satisfied smile creep across his face. ‘Old’ Took chuckled to himself. The dynamics between the hobbit and dwarf were about to get very interesting.

********

_Thorin and Frerin were once again arguing._

_“How is it going to know where to go?” Thorin asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. The raven still refused to leave Fíli’s side, and completely ignored Thorin._

_“It’s a raven and she is of Durin’s line. It will know her the same way it knew Fíli.”_

_“And how is it supposed to know where we are when it comes back? We won’t be here; we don’t know where we’ll be.”_

_Frerin threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “It’s a raven Thorin. It’s not stupid.” They continued to argue back and forth as Fíli sat on a nearby rock, the raven perched on his bent knee._

_“You need to go to the Blue Mountains. Find my amad. And Kíli. My One. Tell them we’re ok. That we’re in The Shire. I don’t know where exactly we’ll be, but we will be there somewhere. I don’t know how exactly you’ll find us but-”_

_“Hobbits,” croaked Torác. The bird had let Fíli know its name that morning._

_“Yes. We will be with the hobbits. Somewhere. I just need you to tell my Ma that we’re ok. Tell Kíli that we’re ok. And I miss him.”_

_The raven cocked its head as its dark eyes studied the blond. “Mate.”_

_Fíli nodded his head. Raven’s had mates, and that was how they saw the rest of the world. “Yes. Kíli is my mate. My One. I... I miss him. We’ve never really been apart like this.” He dropped his head into his hands and the raven crooned at him._

_“Torác find Lion Prince’s mate. Bring him here.”_

_Fíli shook his head. “No, he needs-”_

_“Needs to be with mate. Lion sick. Needs mate.” Torác nodded his head in finality and Fíli sighed and nodded his head slightly. He needed Kíli. He missed him so much his whole body ached with it, his heart and soul crying out for his other half. Kíli was his One, his mate, his other half. They would spend their lives together, and if Mahal wanted, he would bear Fíli’s children in the way only Mahal’s children could. Every male mated pair had the ability to conceive and bear children, a way to compensate for the lack of females in their race. Fíli wasn’t capable of bearing young, so Kíli must be able. Once a dwarf had found their One, if the pairing was male/male, they were checked to see which one was capable of bearing children. Fíli had refused to allow Kíli to be examined, being that he was not yet 60, and had only allowed himself to be examined. He was not capable of it, so Kíli must be, and the way his heart and body ached to have him near had convinced the healers it was so._

_He raised his head as he heard thudding footsteps come closer. “We will send the raven to your mother,” Thorin’s voice came from above his head. Fíli nodded and stood once Torác had hopped off his knee._

_“I told him where to go. Who to look for. He will find her. And then he will come back to us.”_

_Thorin wasn’t so sure of the last part but nodded his head anyway. “Good. We need to be on the move. The day is slipping away from us as it is and I want us in the Shire as soon as possible.”_

_Fíli refrained from telling his uncle that if he had listened to the others they would have been there already. The trip to the Shire had taken twice as long as it should have because of Thorin’s insistence that he knew where he was going, and refusal to listen to anyone else. For an entire week they had travelled too far South, and not far enough East, and while they had made it to the edges of the Shire, they weren’t actually where they needed to be. The nice hobbit they had encountered the day before told them they were maybe a week’s walk from Tuckborough, where they would find ‘The Old’ Took, the leader of their people, and the one who could direct them to where they needed to be. He had even gone so far as to draw them up a route on the map Fíli had shown him, and Víli had thanked him profusely. The hobbit had waved them off and continued on his own journey._

_Torác settled on Fíli’s outstretched arm. “Find my Amad. Find Kíli. Be safe.”_

_Torác nodded his head. “Blue Mountains. Find mate. Safe.” And with that the young raven took flight, and headed for Ered Luin._

********

Dis was shocked when she arrived home 2 weeks after the group had set out, to find a raven waiting for her. They had been rarely seen since the fall of Erebor, and she wondered why one had suddenly appeared. Carefully she nodded her head at it while it watched her with a beady eye. She left the door open and it followed her inside. It settled on the back of a kitchen chair as she pulled some bread, nuts, and seeds from the pantry. It watched her, almost like it was assessing her as she moved around the kitchen, and it dipped its head in thanks as she placed a pile of food before it, before she too settled at the table.

Dis watched as the bird ate, and for every minute that ticked by without a word, she lost hope that this raven was one that would speak to her. She dropped her head and twisted her skirts in her hands.

“Group in Shire.” The croak echoed through the house and bought Dis out of her thoughts. She didn’t hear the door close.

“Not King lost.” Another croak.

Kíli burst through the doorway. “Who’s lost?”

The large bird fluffed itself up and launched into the air, landing on the edge of the bench next to Kíli, causing him to step back. The bird cocked its head to the side, looking him up and down.

“Raven Prince,” it croaked. It cocked its head in the opposite direction. “Wolf Prince. Wolf Prince for Lion Prince.” It bobbed its head in a nod.

“Wolf Prince needed. Lion Prince sick.” Kíli’s face paled but the bird kept going. “Not King lost. Found hobbits.”

“Not King?” Dis asked. “Frerin? Víli?”

The raven shook its head. “Golden Prince. King Father.”

“If Frerin is ‘Golden Prince’, and Víli is ‘King Father’, Kíli is ‘Raven or Wolf Prince, and Fíli is ‘Lion Prince’-”

“King,” the raven interrupted. “Lion King. True King.”

Dis blinked but knew better than to argue with a raven. “Then Thorin is-”

“Lost. Not King. Bear. Lost.”

Kíli giggled. The raven already knew his uncle. But he sobered fast. Fíli was sick. “Is... is Fíli ok?”

The raven looked at him. “Lion sick. Needs wolf.” It paused. “Consort.” Kíli blushed. “Hobbits help but lion needs wolf.”

Kíli looked to his mother and Dis sighed. “Go pack. Dwalin will go with you. I don’t know why your uncle thought he could keep you two apart.”

Kíli flew up the stairs to his room and Dis could hear him rummage around the room hurriedly. She turned from the bird and put a pot of water on the fire. She would need a cup of tea before this was over. The raven hopped over to stand near her.

“Go find Dwalin. Ask him to accompany Kíli.”

The raven nodded, picking at the pile of dried fruit, nuts and seeds still left on the table. “For Wolf Prince.”

“Yes. He’s tall, tattoos on his head. Becomes a bear.”

The raven nodded his head again, hopping from foot to foot as it prepared for flight. “Bear for Wolf Prince.” It gave a croak and flapped its wings, taking off and out through the open window.

********

Dwalin was started to feel something large land on his shoulder. He was even more startled to see a young raven perched there. The bird cocked its head to the side, examining the large warrior.

“Bear,” it finally croaked, stopping Dwalin in his tracks. “Ink Bear. Fighter.” The raven seemed pleased with itself and nodded its head.

“What?”

“King Mother need Ink Bear. Ink Bear and Raven Prince find Lion Prince. Shire.”

Dwalin hadn’t noticed that he had picked up his pace, but he was suddenly in front if his home. He shoved the door open, almost running to his room to pack his things. “Are they ok?” he asked the black bird the was now perched on the end of his bed.

“Lion sick. Need mate. Not King lost. Bear and Cat fighting.” Dwalin shook his head as he continued packing, his weapons stored in his pack and on his person. He wasn’t worried about the others right now.

Soon enough he was packed and standing in Dis’ kitchen, the raven eating more of the nuts and seeds she had left out. Kíli was pacing impatiently, wanting to get out and get to his brother as quickly as possible. His heart and soul ached for his One and he was still twitchy, his restless energy building even more.

Soon though, they were on their way, Dis and Balin waving them of and wishing them luck as they mounted their ponies and headed for the Shire.

********

Dwalin, Kíli and Torác were a week into their travels when it happened. They had seen evidence of orcs for the past few days, but hadn’t seen any actual orcs.

They set up camp as the sun sunk towards the horizon, painting the sky with pinks, purples and oranges. Kíli and Dwalin started a fire, cooked their dinner and laid out their bedrolls. Kíli was still thrumming with that itch under his skin. He had thought that heading for Fíli would make it stop but his skin still felt 2 sizes too small. If anything the itch was getting worse. He said a small prayer to Mahal to keep his brother safe and turned in for the night.

********

He was woken by a rough hand on his shoulder and Dwalin’s low, whispered voice in his ear.

“Get up lad. We’ve got company.”

Kíli was awake and up in an instant, his quiver of arrows thrown over his back, sword at his side, bow in his hand. His keen eyes searched the dark woods for any sign of the enemy. The ponies were restless, and every noise drew his attention. A low, rolling growl sounded from his right and he notched an arrow, letting it fly and grinning when he heard a yelp and a body hit the ground.

But it didn’t last.

With a roar a dozen orcs and just as many wargs were on them. Kíli’s bow sang as he released arrow after arrow, taking out as many of them as possible before they got too close. Next to him Dwalin was roaring as his twin axes cut through those that got too close.

Kíli threw his bow across his back when the enemy got too close and took up his sword. He may not be as good as his brother with a sword but he still knew what he was doing. Torác screeched from above them, diving at the orcs and wargs, aiming for their eyes.

As the fight continued, the itch under Kíli’s skin grew worse. There was now a pounding behind his eyes and it was making it hard to focus. His arms were aching, his chest heaving as he panted. He watched, sword pointing at the ground as Dwalin beheaded the last orc and came to stand beside him.

“You did good kid. Now, let’s get the clean up started.”

Kíli nodded, sheathing his sword and placing it next to his bedroll. It would need a clean but he would deal with it later. He helped Dwalin move the bodies away from camp and then went to find some more wood for the fire. There would be no more sleep that night.

As he bent to pick up a branch that would burn for a while he heard a low growl behind him and he froze. Keeping his hand wrapped tightly around the branch, his other hand slipped to the knife concealed in his boot, a habit he had picked up from Fíli. Slowly he turned his head, seeing a large grey warg standing behind him, teeth bared as it growled. Kíli swallowed and mentally berated himself for leaving his sword back at camp.

He let out a yell as the warg pounced, pulling the dagger from his boot and sliding it into the warg’s stomach. It wasn’t large enough to do much damage but it made the warg pause. The itch was back under his skin and this time he began to shudder. He screamed and fell to his knees as pain ripped through his skull and he was vaguely aware of Dwalin yelling for him. His limbs shook and pain raced across his body as he waited for the warg to take advantage of his vulnerable state and sink its teeth into his flesh.

He was so consumed with the pain, he didn’t notice the warg move closer, or feel the hot breath on his back through the thin tunic he was wearing. He never felt the graze of teeth on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not... 
> 
> We have Hobbits!!!
> 
> I'm not overly pleased with this chapter, it seems to jumpy for me, but it wouldn't work any other way. I may come back and rewrite it a bit once a few more chapters are up but it didn't work without giving some things away that I don't want to spoil yet. Next chapter is half written, and should be up sooner than this one was. 
> 
> As always let me know what you think x


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